Wednesday, December 10, 2014

The Wife's Prayer

I recently came across a poem/prayer that I think is worth sharing with the world.  I have no idea of the author, nor which women's conference, marriage conference or Bible study it came from other than something I attended at Denton Bible Church.  I hope that someone out there will enjoy this and use it as a guide to love their husbands ...


Let me be his sunshine when the skies are dark and gray.                                                                                                              
 Let me be his comfort when he’s had a long hard day.
Let me be his shelter when winds are harsh and cold.
Let me be submissive when the rest on earth are bold.
Let me be his pillow when he’s tired and needs a rest.
Let me be assuring when he’s facing some hard test.
Let me listen softly when the world is pressing in.
Let me understand when no one else can comprehend.
Let me walk beside him when he needs to have a friend.
Let me sing sweet music when his heart’s without a song.
Let me be his living joy, every moment all day long.


Thursday, December 4, 2014


Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10
I have a confession to make, I am ungrateful! <I am sure that is no surprise to some who know me well>

Recently, during the Thanksgiving holiday I was reading several posts on Facebook.  Some people were posting something they were thankful for every day.  Some waited until the day of Thanksgiving and posted their ‘thankful list’.  Some even posted their ‘thankful list’ the day after.  Honestly, I wanted to post and several times I started only to delete which lead me to do some soul searching.  More specifically I wanted to know what my motivation was in posting a ‘thankful list’.

I wondered what was I truly thankful for? What was I most grateful to God for?  Then my mind started a war against me and … won’t people see me as ‘un-American’ or even ‘un-Christian’ because I don’t have some tremendous list of how GOOD everything and everyone in my life is or has been over the past year? Shouldn’t I of all people (Christian who has been trained and who has been discipled) be grateful for something and share it with the entire world?  Yet, even knowing and experiencing that kind of amazing grace and mercy I could not bring myself to share a thankful list on facebook or even a blog post.

It’s because deep down inside I have realized over the past week that I am an ungrateful, self righteous brat of a child of God.

‘Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10

Here is the thing ‘thankful list’ I didn’t see on facebook:

Lord, I am thankful that I lost my job.  My spouse walked out on me.  My family is so broken there will never be reconciliation.  Lord, I am thankful that I have a rebellious child.  I am thankful my child has disabilities.  I am thankful that I don’t have enough money to survive.  Lord, I am thankful that I have an uncontrollable addiction.  Lord, I am grateful that I don’t have any family to speak of.  Lord, I am grateful that my heart is breaking.  Lord, I am grateful that my 3 year old will not sleep through the night.  Lord, I am grateful for a baby with colic.  Lord, I am grateful for the flu.  Lord, thank you for this temptation in my life . . .

I often want to Praise God and Thank Him for all things and people that make me comfortable.  I have never once thanked Him for having to park at the very end of a parking lot in the pouring rain. I did not thank Him for infertility.  I did not thank Him for the major life transition of relocation. I have not thanked Him for the loss of a dear friend.  I have not thanked Him for the inconveniences and sufferings and pains of my life.  Instead I have shaken my fist and raised my voice to a Holy God asking Him why? Or what more do you want from me? I have responded to those whom He loves dearly and has placed in my life such as my husband, daughter, family and other friends with impatience sighs and hateful tones. 

I am ungrateful.

‘Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10

I have pondered these things and I can honestly say that if it were not for the prompting of the Holy Spirit I would not even put this in a blog.  When I read these words myself and know them to be true about me I am ashamed.

The first sign of trouble or pain in my life my first response is always God please take this … not God please help me.  You see I am convinced that I should be treated like royalty.  I should not suffer.  I should not experience pain.  I should not be inconvenienced in anyway.  All of my desires and all of my wants should be so. And just to keep up with the Pharisees, all of this should be solely because I am a Christian aren’t we as Jesus followers entitled to a pain free life?  

‘Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10

King Solomon wrote in the book of Ecclesiastes that there was a time and season for everything.  So grieve when we have to grieve and laugh when we can, but in the midst of or soon after shouldn’t we Thank God for whatever it was?  Shouldn’t we hold on to His promises of good? His provisions are constant, His grace and mercy never ending?

  My pastor said it best this past Sunday while preaching from Deuteronomy 8, “being in the wilderness ((aka suffering, pain, great loss)) leaves you utterly dependent upon Him! His faithfulness for your provision is proved over and over and over again”.

A grateful child of the Lord would or could have a ‘thankful list’ that reads something like this . . .

Lord, I am thankful for every bad choice you allowed me to make because those lead me here on my knees in a relationship with you.  Thank you for your amazing grace and mercy. 

Lord, I am thankful for the infertility that you allowed in our life.  Because of that I am now the parent of a beautiful brown eye, curly hair, bubbly chatting totally over dramatic 3year old who loves baby Jesus and her favorite color is red.

Lord, I am thankful that my parents divorced and reconciled after many years because of that I got to see how love is redemptive.  How when Joseph told his brothers in the book of Genesis what they meant for evil you Lord turned to good. 

Lord, I am grateful that my husband has to travel for weeks at the time to lands that are dangerous so that he can have a few moments with someone who might not have ever heard about Jesus and the grace and mercy that salvation offers.

Lord, I am thankful for a nephew who struggles physically and emotionally.  Because of those odds that were stacked against him he will be 20 his next birthday.  He has out lived the earthly doctors by 17 years by your hand you have provided this.

Lord, I am thankful for the mom’s who are tired and irritated and emotionally exhausted from parenting toddlers all day.  I am grateful that they have children who won’t sleep through the night.  They are my hero’s when they are willing to be transparent and share their strategies.

Lord, I am thankful for a husband who may not be everything portrayed in a ‘chick flick’ or romance novel.  I am thankful that he forgets the ‘little things’ that may be important to me because it keeps him from becoming an idol of worship in my life and reminds me that you ultimately are my husband, the bridegroom.

Lord, I am thankful that you took my dear friend/brother home with you this year.  He was tired; he was beaten down emotionally and physically. Those two precious children who have felt abandoned and orphaned are now forced to realize that you Lord are their one and only Father. 

Lord, you know I struggle with this one more than most, I am learning to be grateful that you moved me from Texas and some of my dearest and most precious friends.  I had become dependent on them to lead me and not you.

God, himself pointed Job out to Satan.  God allowed Satan to take away everything and almost everyone in his life.  The most wealthiest and righteous man of his day Job was literally stripped of everything earthly.  He was left with his faith in the Lord.  After the significant loss of their children and wealth Job’s wife does what most any other mother/wife would say or do … I can imagine a woman standing before a broken man and saying ‘Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Why don’t you curse God and die’ Job1:9

Job replies:  ‘You talk foolish woman.  Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10

“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words?” Job 38:1

God’s wisdom for my good far surpasses anything good I could imagine. 

This year I am most thankful for deep pain, the kind that you can feel your heart shatter into a thousand pieces;   the kind of pain that brings inconsolable cries and anguishes in your gut.  Yes, I am thankful for that because it means that I can and will experience the exact opposite.  I am capable and have experienced on occasion a perfect love.  A love so deep and so peaceful that all I could do was cry inconsolable with a smile on my face.

This next year I will prayerfully learn to be grateful.

‘Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10