Should
we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job
1:10
I
have a confession to make, I am ungrateful! <I am sure that is no surprise to some who know me well>
Recently,
during the Thanksgiving holiday I was reading several posts on Facebook. Some people were posting something they were thankful
for every day. Some waited until the day
of Thanksgiving and posted their ‘thankful list’. Some even posted their ‘thankful list’ the
day after. Honestly, I wanted to post
and several times I started only to delete which lead me to do some soul
searching. More specifically I wanted to
know what my motivation was in posting a ‘thankful list’.
I
wondered what was I truly thankful for? What was I most grateful to God for? Then my mind started a war against me and … won’t
people see me as ‘un-American’ or even ‘un-Christian’ because I don’t have some
tremendous list of how GOOD everything and everyone in my life is or has been
over the past year? Shouldn’t I of all people (Christian who has been trained
and who has been discipled) be grateful for something and share it with the
entire world? Yet, even knowing and
experiencing that kind of amazing grace and mercy I could not bring myself to
share a thankful list on facebook or even a blog post.
It’s
because deep down inside I have realized over the past week that I am an
ungrateful, self righteous brat of a child of God.
‘Should
we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job
1:10
Here
is the thing ‘thankful list’ I didn’t see on facebook:
Lord,
I am thankful that I lost my job. My
spouse walked out on me. My family is so
broken there will never be reconciliation.
Lord, I am thankful that I have a rebellious child. I am thankful my child has disabilities. I am thankful that I don’t have enough money
to survive. Lord, I am thankful that I
have an uncontrollable addiction. Lord,
I am grateful that I don’t have any family to speak of. Lord, I am grateful that my heart is
breaking. Lord, I am grateful that my 3
year old will not sleep through the night.
Lord, I am grateful for a baby with colic. Lord, I am grateful for the flu. Lord, thank you for this temptation in my
life . . .
I
often want to Praise God and Thank Him for all things and people that make me
comfortable. I have never once thanked Him
for having to park at the very end of a parking lot in the pouring rain. I did
not thank Him for infertility. I did not
thank Him for the major life transition of relocation. I have not thanked Him
for the loss of a dear friend. I have
not thanked Him for the inconveniences and sufferings and pains of my
life. Instead I have shaken my fist and
raised my voice to a Holy God asking Him why? Or what more do you want from me?
I have responded to those whom He loves dearly and has placed in my life such
as my husband, daughter, family and other friends with impatience sighs and
hateful tones.
I
am ungrateful.
‘Should
we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job
1:10
I
have pondered these things and I can honestly say that if it were not for the
prompting of the Holy Spirit I would not even put this in a blog. When I read these words myself and know them
to be true about me I am ashamed.
The
first sign of trouble or pain in my life my first response is always God please
take this … not God please help me. You
see I am convinced that I should be treated like royalty. I should not suffer. I should not experience pain. I should not be inconvenienced in
anyway. All of my desires and all of my
wants should be so. And just to keep up with the Pharisees, all of this should
be solely because I am a Christian aren’t we as Jesus followers entitled to a
pain free life?
‘Should
we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job
1:10
King
Solomon wrote in the book of Ecclesiastes that there was a time and season for
everything. So grieve when we have to
grieve and laugh when we can, but in the midst of or soon after shouldn’t we
Thank God for whatever it was? Shouldn’t
we hold on to His promises of good? His provisions are constant, His grace and
mercy never ending?
My pastor said it best this past Sunday while
preaching from Deuteronomy 8, “being in the wilderness ((aka suffering, pain,
great loss)) leaves you utterly dependent upon Him! His faithfulness for your
provision is proved over and over and over again”.
A
grateful child of the Lord would or could have a ‘thankful list’ that reads
something like this . . .
Lord,
I am thankful for every bad choice you allowed me to make because those lead me
here on my knees in a relationship with you.
Thank you for your amazing grace and mercy.
Lord,
I am thankful for the infertility that you allowed in our life. Because of that I am now the parent of a
beautiful brown eye, curly hair, bubbly chatting totally over dramatic 3year
old who loves baby Jesus and her favorite color is red.
Lord,
I am thankful that my parents divorced and reconciled after many years because
of that I got to see how love is redemptive.
How when Joseph told his brothers in the book of Genesis what they meant
for evil you Lord turned to good.
Lord,
I am grateful that my husband has to travel for weeks at the time to lands that
are dangerous so that he can have a few moments with someone who might not have
ever heard about Jesus and the grace and mercy that salvation offers.
Lord,
I am thankful for a nephew who struggles physically and emotionally. Because of those odds that were stacked
against him he will be 20 his next birthday.
He has out lived the earthly doctors by 17 years by your hand you have
provided this.
Lord,
I am thankful for the mom’s who are tired and irritated and emotionally
exhausted from parenting toddlers all day.
I am grateful that they have children who won’t sleep through the
night. They are my hero’s when they are
willing to be transparent and share their strategies.
Lord,
I am thankful for a husband who may not be everything portrayed in a ‘chick
flick’ or romance novel. I am thankful
that he forgets the ‘little things’ that may be important to me because it keeps
him from becoming an idol of worship in my life and reminds me that you
ultimately are my husband, the bridegroom.
Lord,
I am thankful that you took my dear friend/brother home with you this
year. He was tired; he was beaten down
emotionally and physically. Those two precious children who have felt abandoned
and orphaned are now forced to realize that you Lord are their one and only
Father.
Lord,
you know I struggle with this one more than most, I am learning to be grateful
that you moved me from Texas and some of my dearest and most precious friends. I had become dependent on them to lead me and
not you.
God,
himself pointed Job out to Satan. God
allowed Satan to take away everything and almost everyone in his life. The most wealthiest and righteous man of his
day Job was literally stripped of everything earthly. He was left with his faith in the Lord. After the significant loss of their children
and wealth Job’s wife does what most any other mother/wife would say or do … I
can imagine a woman standing before a broken man and saying ‘Are you still
trying to maintain your integrity? Why don’t you curse God and die’ Job1:9
Job
replies: ‘You talk foolish woman. Should we only accept good things from the
hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job 1:10
“Who
is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words?” Job 38:1
God’s
wisdom for my good far surpasses anything good I could imagine.
This
year I am most thankful for deep pain, the kind that you can feel your heart
shatter into a thousand pieces; the
kind of pain that brings inconsolable cries and anguishes in your gut. Yes, I am thankful for that because it means
that I can and will experience the exact opposite. I am capable and have experienced on occasion
a perfect love. A love so deep and so
peaceful that all I could do was cry inconsolable with a smile on my face.
This
next year I will prayerfully learn to be grateful.
‘Should
we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ Job
1:10
