Friday, March 6, 2015

Progression of Perspective . . .

Tuesday, started like most days for me full of challenges with a cute little 3 year old.  She wakes up smiling and giving nose kisses and wanting to 'hug me momma' which always makes me (the not so morning person) actually like mornings! ((some of y'all reading this will know it had to be an act of God for that to happen!!! LOL))

At three we have learned how to negotiate, manipulate and propagate our own wills! We demand to be different! We demand to not fall to authority! We demand that our voice be heard over and above all else! We demand that our needs be met right away!

We demand, We demand, We demand ... at 3 we demand!

The wonderful exploratory life of three, when we want to explore our world in our own time and our own pace lingering where we want and by passing what we want.  See when you are three years old, the world around you is wonderful, exciting and another adventure is waiting around every corner!  It's when you are becoming more and more aware of the world and people around you.  Your personality is constantly changing and forming into the adult you will one day be ... but in the mean time you have choices to make and toys to play with and paper to cut and glue to lick and markers to test on fabric.   You need to have everything 5 seconds before you could even form the words to tell your mom what your need actually was/is.  You have to be heard there is absolutely no such thing as patience ... that is after all a personality trait of someone with self-control and for sure that is reserved for someone old, like maybe 10 or something. ;-) No 3 year old should ever be expected to do pick up anything unless it was their idea to begin with! right?! right!!! The wonderful world of three.

Sweets and I had a few difference of opinions from how many bites of a high sugary cereal and banana did equate to an actual breakfast ... to explaining how you will loose every tooth in your head if you don't brush your teeth, like Poppy.  ((Sorry Poppy, but I needed an illustration and since you provide her with one every time she sees you ... well, I get to 'explain' it! lol ))

After a long weekend of Poppy or nana or any family that loves spoiling and loving on her it takes Sweets a few days to iron back out to her normal three year old self, which is still challenging but less whiny. 

I am by no means complaining I am simply trying to give you a visual ... perspective if you will. 

As president and CEO of our corporation there are a lot of things on my mind early in the morning:

~Transportation Authority (aka driving Sweets to preschool, myself to appts & errands)
~Waste Management (Tuesday is trash pick-up)
~Purchasing Agent (did I remember to get the milk yesterday?)
~Fashion Coordinator (Sweets needs a light jacket for the spring)
~Personal Chef (what's for supper?)
~Personal Trainer (I really need my walk/exercise today!!!)
~Canine Trainer (the dog needs a walk)
~Personal Banker (did I finish this month's budget)
~Medical Provider & Health Insurance Consultant (does that rash really need to be treated by a dr or   Benadryl cream)
~Counselor/Psychiatrist (friend having a life crisis needs to talk on phone ASAP)
~Grounds Keeper (doesn't really need a description)

I am sure I left a few of the many duties/jobs that I actually have, again I am really trying to help you as a reader get a visual perspective of this day.  So that you will truly understand why I did not have time for a flat flat flat flat did I say flat tire 1/4 mile from preschool this morning?!

I have to admit by the time I realized that the tire was flat and my vehicle wasn't drivable I had tried so desperately to ignore the light and sound of the flapping tire ...   because again, it was not on my schedule for today, notice that Auto Engineering was not a job title on my resume'!

I was already anxious because we were as usual running a few minutes behind (my) schedule.  I called the Hubs, then roadside assistance, then gramps.  Gramps came to the rescue and took Sweets to school safely and by the time he got back to me the tire was already being changed by a very nice gentleman in a wrecker service! There was a 3 inch piece of steel in the tire which Sears happily replaced on our warranty and I was home just over 2 hours later than planned.  All in all not too bad with the timing that is ... but then again it's all about perspective!

However, I was so frazzled in my mind not outwardly but in my mind I couldn't shake the chaos.  I was flustered, frazzled and could not focus on my task list for more than what felt like five seconds. I couldn't remember all the things I wanted to do that morning while Sweets was at preschool.  I couldn't even find my list much less check things off it. UGH!   Then it hit me ... I hadn't lost my temper, I didn't yell, I didn't cuss at anyone I just rolled with it.  What? Who was this person? I wondered if my body had been invaded by aliens at this point !?!?

This is not normal for me. 

My normal would have been to yell at someone, hold someone accountable for my day being disrupted.  My normal would have been to still be angry and to have called no less than 5 people to complain about my morning ... but I didn't.  I was out of sorts when I got home because I had forgotten what I was going to do ... but I did not show that outwardly at all. 

I pondered, what if my perspective has been changed? Then I was like ... no way! not me! ((this is a real conversation in my head ... just me and me talking to each other! lol ))

There is absolutely no reason under the sun why I should not have lost my composure today other than the Lord. 

Tuesday, was the morning I needed to affirm that yes, though I sin and fall short every day I am saved by an astounding grace and unbelievable mercy.  That a living God has loved me so much that he continually runs interference in my life to save me from myself over and over and over again. 

That His word is true in Jeremiah 29:13, I do indeed find Him when I seek him wholeheartedly. I am perfectly imperfect and He loves me anyway.  I do not spend as much time in His word as I could or should but he is still doing a work in my heart shaping and molding it to look more and more like Jesus everyday.  I still have those times in life where I will be stagnant and those times where I will grow spiritually by leaps and bounds.  He is not finished with me yet.

He is simply changing my perspective on life and about life.  The things that use to upset me just don't anymore.  Now, I am concerned about things that I use to not care about. 

 Sin is always at my door sometimes I reject it and sometimes I invite it in for a while.  I forget and loose my perspective with the busyness of life and raising a preschooler.  My perspective becomes more Hope focused not God focused.

 I forget that I am perfectly and wonderfully made in the image of my very own creator.  Who with his own hands formed man yet spoke everything else in to existence. 

I forget that I am in desperate need of a savior and that I cannot save myself or others.

That flat flat flat tire this morning with a whiny three year old and a task list that would keep me busy for at least three months without sleep could have been a recipe for a tsunami of an emotional disaster for me.  It truly could have left my daughter, father in law and anyone else in my path emotionally scared by my words ... BUT GOD. 

I am in awe of His never stopping, never changing always and forever love for me. He has shown me that I am not who I use to be but I am on the road to being who he created me to be. He has changed my perspective of my life and the world around me.  I can say with all honesty that this is not always the case ... but for a moment it was.  A flat tire was exactly what I needed!

Always a work in progress ...

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